Ramblings: Part Five

Dating is a game to many and a very serious affair to the others. The steps to having a great date, from first impressions to finding the perfect soul mate, can probably be found elsewhere, but is it actually easy to ruin a date? Perhaps it is. Generally, dates can be classified as one of two types: the one night stand and the emotionally attached. Whereas a one night stand is generally sexually motivated, an emotionally charged date is for someone who is looking for love. Regardless, sometimes it is necessary to escape the night unscathed. The best ways to ruin a date start with first impressions but later move on to the actual date and finally to the end of the date.
Everyone always says the first impression is the most important factor in starting a relationship. One could rightly assume the easiest way to ruin a date is to make a horrible first impression. The best way to escape is to be creepy, shady, or make comments about sacrificing baby goats to Satan. It is very complicated to be thought of a good person when standing in a corner making a strange stalker-like laugh, or for that matter, not looking into the date’s eyes ever. On a separate note, many people might consider staring to be a creepy action; however, an overzealous attitude can sometimes have the same effect as a creepy or shady person. The first impression, while important, can cause the date to continue, and it is the most important transition into phase two, the actual date.
During the date there are many things which can go wrong, leading to a hate-filled relationship in further meetings. One could consider rude behaviors such as: speaking with a full mouth, spitting, farting, or belching, the best, if dealing with a typical person, way to ruin a date. Comments made about the date in impolite words can also affect the outcome of the date, for instance, being incredibly sarcastic about the way they look; it may be enough just to be sarcastic though. On the other hand, some people may find that attractive, so it is always important to have a backup plan. A quick slap to the face will often times ruin both dates’ night. Coming without money also has the same effect.
The end of the date is also very important to the outcome of the night; it could not be possible if the first two steps had not been accomplished. If one is so unlucky to get to this point, there is no turning back. The only way that this date will end is with nothing short of murder, but since murder is illegal in all fifty states and not to mention highly unethical, there must be another option. One option is to get naked and ask why there has not been any sex yet, but once again, some people may find this attractive. Another, more effective option is to play guess who with the date if he or she is driving. The latter is most successful when used in moderation, and only as a last resort because of the risk of injury to other drivers, pedestrians, and perhaps animals.
The process of ruining a date can be simple or complex depending on the user’s skill level. A date can be used as a tool for manipulation if used in the correct procedure, it is often necessary to be a jerk if it is to be a bad date. At all times in a date, it is possible to simply get up and walk out of the date. It is not recommended that anyone ever attempt to ruin a date for no other reason than to get out alive. Dating should be used only in moderation and never without safety precautions. It is dangerous.